On the Couch with Jasminda

opinion

Do you have a pressing problem, annoying anxiety or community conundrum? Jasminda Featherlight, our resident roving Agony Aunt, is here to help. Jasminda will be responding to questions from our three News Of The Area papers on a rotating basis. Send your concerns to Jasminda care of [email protected] and include your title, initials and suburb.

 

Dear Jasminda,

 

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I have been dating a great girl for a few months now, things seem to be getting more serious between us as she has just introduced me to her mother. What advice do you have for me, I really like this girl, but not only is her mother as mad as a cut snake, whenever I look at this girl all I see now is what she will look like in 20 years.

 

Mr PC

Shoal Bay

 

 

 

 

Dear PC,

 

At this stage in your relationship you should be focusing on the emotional connection between you and your new love.

You should be dining and skulking and swooning and seducing like Hugh Grant in every single movie he’s ever been in.

This is a time of pure rapture, enchantment and puppy-dog eyes.

All of us fade, men and women, from blossoming magnolias through to dried up mushrooms (you know, the ones you find up the back of the fridge after seven months). So focus on what is on the inside.

As Shakespeare said, “Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind, and therefore is winged Cupid painted blind” or words to that effect.

He also said, “thou cream-faced loon”, but that is an unfortunate aside.

I’d be more worried that, in your words, the mother is “as mad as a cut snake”.

Is that a genetic trait you want to pass down to your offspring?

Look out for delusions, hallucinations, signs of “sundowning” like the mad nana in The Visit.

Anyway, it could be worse. Some lovely ladies end up looking like their fathers.

Surely a crepey décolletage and a few chin hairs is preferable to a beer gut and a gammy leg.

 

Carpe Diem,

Jasminda.

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