On the Couch with Jasminda



Do you have a pressing problem, annoying anxiety or community conundrum? Jasminda Featherlight, our resident roving Agony Aunt, is here to help. Jasminda will be responding to questions from our FOUR News Of The Area papers on a rotating basis. Send your concerns to Jasminda care of [email protected] and include your title, initials and suburb.

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Dear Jasminda,

My daughter has recently purchased tickets to Groovin’ the Moo. She’s only 14 and I wonder if this is an age-appropriate event. Should I allow her to attend? Should I go as well?
A concerned Mrs LK, Medowie

Dear Mrs LK,

Groovin’ the Moo sounds pretty placid. When I say those words I imagine a small group of happy hippies in their 60s, blissed out in a meadow with some cows, a flute and a tambourine. They are singing songs such as Sounds of Silence and California Dreamin’. Maybe they are smoking some cow dung, but that’s about as radical as it gets. They can’t cause too much mischief because they keep tripping over their flares and falling over. As the sun sets, they sit in a circle singing Kumbaya and drinking kombucha.

Of course if that was the reality of Groovin’ the Moo, your 14-year-old daughter wouldn’t want to attend. So think about what she would like to attend. I’d imagine it would be an event with hundreds of young people full of euphoria listening to suggestive lyrics, making sweaty human pyramids, moshing and getting lit (I’m not sure what getting lit is, but it can’t be good thing).

The positive in all of this is that these events are well organised with lots of security. There will also be a whole lot of parents, just like you, Mrs LK, who will attend the event wearing some sort of camouflage to spy on your offspring to make sure they are safe. And the 14-year-old kids will be thinking: What are all these hippy has-beens doing at our event?

Didn’t they get over all of this at Woodstock? Why are they gate crashing? And now they are dancing! And now they are moshing! And now they are getting lit! Aaaaaargh, Sebastian, is that your father dancing with my mother to Grinspoon? Oh my God, she’s getting up on his shoulders. My eyes are burning with embarrassment. Let’s get out of here and watch a movie. This is so hideous.

Carpe diem,

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