On the Couch with Jasminda

Opinion

 

Do you have a pressing problem, annoying anxiety or community conundrum? Jasminda Featherlight, our resident roving Agony Aunt, is here to help. Jasminda will be responding to questions from our News Of The Area papers on a rotating basis. Send your concerns to Jasminda care of [email protected] and include your title, initials and suburb.

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Dear Jasminda,

I’ve noticed a lot of people in the local supermarket with quite overwhelming body odour. I’ve also noticed a lot of swearing, with young mums saying things like ‘crap’. What is the world coming to?
Mrs UL, Raymond Terrace

Dear Mrs UL,

We have two problems here and one seems a lot easier to deal with than the other. If ‘crap’ is the most offensive thing these mums are saying, I wouldn’t be heading along the path of complete moral panic at this stage. In the upward spiral of bad language, ‘crap’ is probably at the bottom end of the spectrum along with ‘drat’ or ‘dang’ or ‘darn’. My mother would always say ‘sugar’, which was such a sweet and innocent expression of agitation, that it was hardly worth the effort. I think this one is a first-world problem that you should just let go of.

The next issue, body odour, is one of those things that I guess we have all experienced from time to time. I used to have a boxing partner at the gym and he didn’t need to give me an uppercut or a left jab to wind me, his odour was enough to knock me out in the first round. Morning breath is another problem. One of my friends had this issue with her husband and found it very hard to be amorous when his breath was so foul she wondered if he had licked the bottom layer of the budgie cage during the night. You can, of course, leave subtle hints, like tongue scrapers and mouth wash and heavy duty deodorant, but not with complete strangers in the supermarket.

Sweat is virtually odourless, so it is the buildup of bacteria that is causing the revolting smell. You could hold a hankie infused with lavender or eucalyptus to your nose and just allow your sweet scent to infuse the supermarket, Mrs UL. Or you could make little hygiene packs, and hand them out at the entrance. I think people would appreciate receiving something other than useless plastic groceries.

Carpe diem,
Jasminda

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