On the Couch with Jasminda



Do you have a pressing problem, annoying anxiety or community conundrum? Jasminda Featherlight, our resident roving Agony Aunt, is here to help. Jasminda will be responding to questions from our News Of The Area papers on a rotating basis. Send your concerns to Jasminda care of edit@mcnota.com.au and include your title, initials and suburb.

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Dear Jasminda,

My mum is about to turn 50 and she dresses like me. Sometimes she even borrows my clothes. I really don’t think this is appropriate since I’m 14. What can I do?
Miss HG, Boat Harbour

Dear Miss HG,

I have one word for you. Madonna. Madonna has been pulling off inappropriate fashion for more years than you’ve been alive. The older she gets, the more she pushes the limits. I sometimes high five Madonna’s confidence, but that doesn’t mean I want to emulate her.

Since I’m closer in age to your mother than to you, I have some understanding of where your mum is sitting in the fashion stakes. There’s certain things I consider off limits for 50 year olds. The midriff, for example, should be a no-go zone. So too, should very, very short shorts. You know the ones. You probably own several pairs. They are so short that the pockets extend beyond the shorts. Now they do look okay on waifs when teamed with Doc Martins, but I’ve yet to see them work on someone of your mother’s vintage. Not that they don’t try, mind you. And who are we to judge?

The bikini is another item that takes some consideration when you reach a certain age. They can look fine in low light or teamed with a sarong, but they rarely look great in broad daylight or after being dumped by a wave, or a husband. In both these cases, the bikini looks a bit ‘try hard’.

Having said all of that, many women who are well over 50 can pull off a whole wardrobe of dubious items, and do it with great flair. When you get to a certain age, you tend to care far less about what people think. That is the stage your mum has reached. The positive is that you now have double the number of clothes to choose from. Just see it as a win-win. Alternatively, when she calls you in the street, give her a ‘do I know you?’ expression and run as fast as your skin-tight pleather skirt will allow. She’ll never catch you. The mind may be willing, but those disco knees will be well and truly shot on the home straight.

Carpe diem,

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