On the Couch with Jasminda



Do you have a pressing problem, annoying anxiety or community conundrum? Jasminda Featherlight, our resident roving Agony Aunt, is here to help. Jasminda will be responding to questions from our News Of The Area papers on a rotating basis. Send your concerns to Jasminda care of edit@mcnota.com.au and include your title, initials and suburb.

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Dear Jasminda,

Every time my 14-year-old son gets on anything with wheels, he seems to injure himself. On the first day of the school holidays, he was riding a motorised bike, braked too heavily and went head over turkey resulting in a five hour wait at the local medical centre, stitches and lots of whinging and moping around the house. What can he do that is safe?

Mrs HL, Tea Gardens

Dear Mrs HL,

I feel your pain. I was also at the local clinic this week after my son came off a skateboard. In fact, there were many mums and a few dads with the same aggrieved look because they’d paid thousands of dollars for a Port Stephens holiday only to spend it in a waiting room reading a four-month-old Women’s Weekly and watching their water wonderland escape fade fast.

The truth is, there is no safe activity for a 14-year-old boy. They manage to make everything as dangerous as negotiating a landmine. Get them to try synchronised swimming and they’ll get the nose clip somestuck in their ear. Suggest ten pin bowling and they’ll end up going down the lane with the ball. A game of soccer will quickly turn into a medical emergency. Hide and seek will result in a child lost forever. Table tennis will lead to an aggressive backhand shot that gives little Johnny concussion.

All you are really left with is gaming. No, then you have to worry about the dark web, repetitive strain injury, anger management, insomnia and nervous tension.

How about gardening? Mmmm. Pollen allergies, bee stings, ant bites, thorns in the fingers and stinging nettles.
Cooking? Exploding saucepans, flesh wounds, third degree burns from the Thermomix, the loss of a finger . . .
How about drawing or reading? They are the only activities I can think of that won’t end in disaster, though paper cuts can be extremely painful.

Best of luck till you can return the little treasure back to the safe environment of his local school.

Carpe diem,

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