‘On the couch’ with Jasminda


Dear Jasminda,

During our Valentine’s Day lunch, the conversation turned to what type of animal my husband and I remind each other of. I suggested he was like a lion: tenacious, rugged, muscly and protective. He suggested I was like a wombat.
What am I to make of that?

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Mrs KD, Tea Gardens

A wombat. Mmmmm. Well, of course your first thoughts were possibly the physical attributes of a wombat – do you have short broad feet, long incisors, and a stocky barrel shape? No? Ok, perhaps let’s not dwell on the wombat’s physical characteristics. Perhaps your husband was going a bit deeper.

Maybe he was referring to your eating habits. Do you graze for several hours after sunset? No? Are you vegan? No?
Okay, let’s continue. Wombats are solitary creatures, so perhaps he meant the amount of time you like to spend alone, or maybe, when you are trying to warn him about something, it is in a low guttural growl. Do you hiss when angered?

Or, given it was Valentine’s Day, maybe he was referring to other habits. Do you attack him for 30 minutes before you mate? Do you consummate your relationship on your sides? Does the courtship phase involve him chasing you in wide circles and then biting your rump?

Look, Mrs KD, I think we both may be overthinking this. I certainly am. Let’s just assume that he thinks you are cute and cuddly. That you were an ‘accidental hero’ during the bushfires, provided a safe space for others when they had no home. That you don’t mind the occasional tummy rub, and that you are also highly intelligent (true wombat fact).

Take it as a compliment.

Carpe diem, Jasminda

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