DEAR Jasminda,

An acquaintance of ours asked if he could leave his car on our property for a couple of weeks on a section that had just been cleared to store our own equipment. He arrived with two cars and a boat. Four months later they’re still there, with only a vague ‘I’ll get those cars soon’. How do we get rid of them?

Laurie G.

Dear Laurie,

I’m trying to imagine someone so socially unaware that they would just abandon their vehicles and boat without keeping you updated.

I also think that someone with two spare cars and a boat could probably afford to hire a storage space instead of burdening you with their possessions.

Just be upfront and give them a very specific direction: please remove your stuff from our property by Friday.

Alternatively, make the most of the opportunity. An upmarket adventure playground for your kids and/or your chooks comes to mind.

If all else fails (once you’ve made sure that this acquaintance hasn’t died or skipped the country) report to your local government and police. After you’ve gone through the proper channels and filled out the necessary paperwork, you can hold an auction. Happy Days. Maybe invite him along.

Carpe diem, Jasminda.