‘On the couch’ with Jasminda


DEAR Jasminda,

RECENTLY I was setting up for my spin class when a lady walked in and said I was on her spin bike.

She told me she had to sit there as it was directly in front of the fan and she sweats a lot.

What is the etiquette here?

Carmel B.

Dear Carmel,

Out of all the different gym personalities, the equipment hog is one of the most annoying, but there are many others.

A gym workout consists of strategic manoeuvres, and that’s before you even start exercising.

It’s a bit like federal politics.

There’s always someone like Barnaby Joyce, falling off a bench and swearing like a trooper.

Or a Bob Katter personality who pivots from machine to machine with no one able to keep track of where he’s going.

Then you’ve got the Pauline Hanson ‘please explain’ types who stall group sessions with their inane questions, and the Scott ‘I don’t hold a hose, mate’ Morrison personalities who refuse to put their equipment away or wipe down their bench.

Don’t let them bully you, though, Carmel.

Everyone is an equal in a gym and no one has more or less right to the equipment.

If you’ve arrived in time to get the bike positioned in front of the fan, and you’ve already adjusted the bike height, clipped your cycling shoes into place, and positioned your water bottle, then stay put.

Don’t offer any feedback or solution.

A shoulder shrug is very effective (and also a great pre-workout stretch if exaggerated). Just hope she doesn’t take the bike next to you.

A sweaty nearby spinner is on par with dancing in the summer rain.

Carpe diem,
Jasminda.

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