‘On the couch; with Jasminda

DEAR Jasminda,

My boyfriend and I recently attended an art class where we had to do a painting of each other. Somehow, even though I find my boyfriend very attractive, my artwork made him look like serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer.

He was horrified when he saw the end result and now he won’t even speak to me.

The painting he did of me was very flattering.

How do I fix this?

Celia D.

Dear Celia,

The uptake of people attending a night out that involves unleashing their creativity is impressive yet doomed.

Most of these nights involve friends getting so sloshed that they develop grand delusions of artistic merit.

Having not attended an art class since Year 7, they are suddenly tasked with painting Mount Fuji or Frida Kahlo.

Full of optimism and pinot, this seems strangely achievable.

In the harsh light of day, however, it is clear that these masterpieces will never grace a wall and will instead be found on the verge at the next council cleanup.

You, Celia, have taken things to the next level of imminent catastrophe.

Your boyfriend’s self image has been slaughtered along with your romantic night out by the looks of things.

The great thing about paintings, though, is that they can be painted over.

I would recommend that you tell him you’d like to start with a clean slate.

You can achieve this with a tube of white paint and a large brush.

Once it dries, may I suggest you paint something less likely to upset his ego.

A still life might be a good option while there is hopefully still a little life left in your relationship.

Carpe diem,

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