DEAR Jasminda,

WE are going on a holiday with another couple — my best friend and her obnoxious, bigot of a husband.

Normally I stay away from him, but we are sharing accommodation.

My best friend laughs off his behaviour and says he’s harmless.

To me his comments and opinions aren’t harmless, they are hurtful and damaging.

What on earth should I do?

Heidi S.

Dear Heidi,

You can’t go on this holiday.

At best you’ll be miserable, and at worst you will potentially lose your friendship with your best friend.

I’m not sure why you agreed to it in the first place.

Clearly you are already feeling completely stressed out about what should be an enjoyable and relaxing time away for all of you.

Life is too short to put up with bad behaviour. It might make for great television, but this isn’t reality TV, it’s your life.

It sounds as though you’ve just agreed to go to appease everyone else and maybe that’s half the problem.

Sometimes it’s important to call out bad behaviour and set boundaries.

Otherwise situations can end up festering over many years as one person makes more and more concessions and the other gets more bold in what they say or do.

Your friend is married to this man and has made the decision to put up with him.

You’re not married to him, and you don’t have to make concessions.

If she’s really your best friend, she should respect that.

Carpe diem,
Jasminda