On the Couch with Jasminda



Do you have a pressing problem, annoying anxiety or community conundrum? Jasminda Featherlight, our resident roving Agony Aunt, is here to help. Jasminda will be responding to questions from our News Of The Area papers on a rotating basis. Send your concerns to Jasminda care of edit@mcnota.com.au and include your title, initials and suburb.

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Dear Jasminda,
I broke up with my girlfriend and she seems to be handling it really well. I wonder if I’ve made a terrible mistake.
Mr KO, Tea Gardens

Goodness me, Mr KO, I’m a bit confused about your question. That’s not a problem, that’s the perfect result. You wanted to break up for whatever reason (you don’t give a reason, so I can’t fully assess this one), but I imagine you said something pathetic like, ‘It’s not you, it’s me.’ What you seem to have wanted, after that below-the-belt blow, was for her to make changes to herself, or grovel on hands and knees, or go on long drives with her playlist of ‘Stay’ by Rhianna, Adele’s ‘Someone Like You’ and No Doubt’s ‘Don’t Speak’ on a continuous loop, sobbing uncontrollably, wiping an unattractive smear of snot from her face, pulling into McDonald’s for a large Quarter Pounder meal with a side of hash browns, and so on. Instead, she’s listened to your words and thought, you know what, you’re right. It isn’t me. She’s now enjoying her newfound freedom, catching up with the friends she let go of, embarking on an exercise regime, and generally being strong, composed and in control. You should be ecstatic for her, Mr KO, instead of wallowing in the self-pity you obviously assumed she was going to suffer from for months so you could feel better about yourself.

Carpe diem,

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